Harmony

The door behind my desk, you know, the one that leads to the perfume-soaked coworker, developed a creaking noise in one of its hinges. Calvin, my chemist friend in the lab, decided he could no longer stand the creaking. He threw open the door a few days ago, armed with a large can of WD-40, and listened intently to each hinge as he repeatedly opened and closed the door. I turned around and told him I thought it sounded like the middle hinge.
He asked me, “Why, what does a middle hinge sound like? Does the low hinge a lower sound and the higher hinge make a higher sound when they creak?” Now, I knew Calvin was joking in his usual deadpan manner, but Katie, the smart one, happened to be walking into my office at that point.

“Seriously?” she said, “The higher the hinge is on the door, the higher the noise it makes?”

I jumped, no, I dove at the opportunity… “You would think that,” I said, “but you’d be wrong. Higher notes rise and lower notes fall. So, the higher the hinge, the lower the tone it will make, and the lower the hinge, the higher the note it will make. That’s why all notes meet in the middle at ear level. High notes have to rise from the ground, and low notes have to fall from the ceiling in order to meet in the middle and make harmonies in your ears. This creak sounds like a middle note, so it’s probably the middle hinge.”

Katie looked at both of us, who had very serious looks going at this point. “I never knew that,” she said, “That makes so much sense! I can’t believe no one ever explained it to me like that before. Is that why guys are always in the back of choirs up on the high rises like that? So the sound balances out to the middle at ear level?”

“That’s absolutely correct,” Calvin said, as he sprayed WD-40 on the middle hinge. Miraculously, THAT was the squeaky hinge, and the door was silent when Calvin opened and closed it one more time. I looked like a genius to poor Katie. She walked out with a surprised look of wonder on her face. 10 seconds later, Calvin and I looked at each other and all he said was, “Really? High notes rise and low notes fall… TO EAR LEVEL??? You’re a dick, and I love it.”

Am I a dick? Maybe. Or, maybe I just need to have a little bit of fun with these dumb people in order to keep from wanting to blow my brains out at work every hour of every day. Who really cares? You can’t make this stuff up. This is real life, and these are real idiots. Have a great week.